That’s actually what a friend said to me recently when I told them another friend, who is still with the Ambulance Service, had been signed off with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Until a few years ago, I’d have agreed with my friend, but now I know different.
It’s difficult to describe the emotional hardness you develop. When you walk into a drug den and see the addict, clearly dead, with the needle still in their arm. When you cut someone down from a tree. When you have to explain to someone that the last time they spoke to their partner was just that. I could go on, but there’s no need. The emotional hardness happens because the people you work with understand, and there’s an unconscious support there.
When I left the Ambulance Service that support ended overnight. I wasn’t aware at the time, but looking back I can see the signs and symptoms. My support mechanism ended overnight and I went through a form of PTSD. An ex-colleague and myself often chat about jobs we’d been called to, but sometimes…very often…that’s not enough. We recently lost another friend and fellow crew member that we both trained with, the job became too much and broke him. Now we have become acutely aware how huge the lack of support for ambulance crews all over the country is.
After a particularly nasty job, I was once given a phone number I could call, should I find I was struggling. For those who don’t know any ambulance crew members, they may appear kind and caring, and they are, but underneath they become a certain amount of tough and hard. It’s the only way they can survive. To call a number and talk to an anonymous person, who knows nothing about you, is beyond failure!
The purpose of this post is not to point the finger at the Ambulance service. It is to highlight the vulnerability of every person who works in an ambulance, and to highlight the need for a much greater system of support. I am fully aware that other services deal with the same situations, but perhaps someone else will write about it from their perspective.
Next time you see an ambulance go by with its lights flashing, spare a thought for the crew. Think about what might be going through their minds. When you go to sleep at night, think about the crew members, and what nightmares they might be having. If you know a crew member, show your support. Sometimes they look tough, but underneath they’re just normal people……….well, most of them are!
After I posted today’s blog, someone sent me this link. They only cover some parts of the country, but it’s a start: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/ambulance/mental-wellbeing-ambulance/
Another charity just released a single to help raise funds to provide assistance for emergency workers suffering PTSD. The charity is PTSD999, the band are Burn out and the song is (appropriately) a cover of the late David Bowie’s song Heroes. Download it from Amazon or iTunes for a meare 99p.