You only live…..once

Despite the James bond book/film that claims otherwise, the above is unfortunately very true! When it’s your turn, nothing can change it. Some people, however, choose to bring their time forward. Warning: this post is a blunt one!

Many times we’d be called to an “Overdose”. Sometimes it was a drug user who had overdone it unintentionally, often we could reverse the Overdose with a drug we carried, other times we were too late and the patient had passed away (usually before the 999 call was made). There were also the patients who wanted someone to pay them some attention. These were the ones who took 5 – 10 paracetamol or ibuprofen, thinking that it wouldn’t kill them. Some were spoiled kids who’s parents were too busy, others were so sad and low that you desperately wanted to hug them, but that wasn’t part of the job – all they wanted was someone to listen. None of the patent types I’ve mentioned actually wanted to die.

Then there were the ones who did. The ones who’s lives had gotten into such a state, or who had reached such a low point, that they saw no point continuing with their lives. These patients generally managed to see their wish through, and we were only called when someone found them.

Fatalities were part of the job, and I always managed to treat the majority as just that – jobs. I never knew them, I’d never met them, and I couldn’t tell you what they looked like once we left them. That was the easiest way to deal with death. They were someone else’s loved one, it was their job to grieve. But the ones who took their own lives, they were different. I was called to an unconscious patient, and rolled up to find a very drunk foreign gentleman. He was quite cheery and chatted a lot about how he had come to the UK to work, but he missed his family. Two weeks later, we were called to cut him down from a tree in the middle of nowhere. Another job involved a 15 year old, who was being cut down from a tree in their back garden by the police as we arrived. I remember that one, mostly because there was a strange peace about the scene, and the patient almost looked relieved. Then the mother came out and shattered the peace, understandably hysterical when they saw their dead child.

Then there was the parent who chose to end their life in the stairwell of their home, in full view when their ex when they brought their young children home. I’ll remember that as a job, their children will never forget it for many other reasons.

But we were given the usual 5 minute rest afterwards, then it was on to the next job. No support, no debrief, no health checks. Yes, we chose to do the job. Yes, it was all part of the job. No, no-one is hard or tough enough to deal with situations like that, or worse, and not be affected. The emotions involved in these jobs vary – anger at the selfishness, despair that society has let these people down, sadness for the family and friends.

Then the screen lights up and we go to the next job….